Archive-name: alt-sex/wizards-faq/part1
Last-modified: 14 Feb 1994
THE OFFICIAL ALT.SEX.WIZARDS FAQ FILE WITH ANSWERS
--------------------------------------------------
(dated October 1, 1993)
PURPOSE OF THE FAQ FILE
Alt.sex.wizards may not receive the amount of traffic that
alt.sex does but a FAQ is always nice to educate the new and
bring new information to the old. This FAQ will concentrate on
sexual technique and wizardry and present the necessary data to
keep wizards healthy and happy. This FAQ does not answer general
sex questions. Please refer to the alt.sex FAQ (see section c0-2
for list of questions answered in the alt.sex FAQ). Readers of
this group have more than enough to read through without having
to filter out inappropriate posts. To help prevent the constant
debating of these points, this post serves as a guide to the
Frequently Asked Questions. If you are new to this group, please
take the time to read through this file, and the alt.sex FAQ,
even if only to read the Table of Contents.
This does not mean these things are not subject to further
debate, merely that they HAVE been considered by the readers
here. If you have something significant to add to the subject,
then feel free to post.
Not every question has a definitive answer. Everyone has
different tastes, preferences, and physical attributes, so it is
nearly impossible to answer certain questions, such as: is a
man's hand or foot size or his height related to his penis size?
There are many sex-related questions that are not answered in
this FAQ. Please refer to section c0-2 for additional sex topics
that are covered in other FAQs, most importantly, the alt.sex
FAQ.
Every effort has been made to keep attributions to authors in
this FAQ file as accurate as possible when available. In many
cases however, the name of the original poster has been lost
through repeated transfers. I have corrected typos and other
errors as I come across them but some slip through, nevertheless.
This FAQ is by no means complete. If you have suggestions as to
changes or additions please email me at:
superdj@cs.mcgill.ca
USING THE FAQ FILE
In order to navigate more easily through this file there are:
1) separators "-------------------" after most question-answer
sections;
2) separators "================..." after main categories;
3) unique question numbering (i.e., cX-Y is category x,
question Y.)
Use the search function on your editor (you do have an editor,
right?) to jump to ends of sections by searching for "------" or
"========", and to questions by searching for "cX-Y". If your
viewing this with a newsreader use the goto function to navigate
through this file. (In rn use the g command.) The Table of
Contents lists all questions covered in the FAQ.
Thank you for your support.
Editors of the FAQ file,
-David Johnson and Snugglebunny
superdj@cs.mcgill.ca
[License is hereby granted to republish on electronic media for
which no fees are charged (except for the media used), so long as
proper attribution is given to the editors and the authors of
this FAQ, and the text of this copyright notice and license are
attached intact to any and all republished portion or portions.]
CHANGES (Sept 1)
- added "What other masturbatory aids are there?".
FORMER CHANGES (May 1)
- updated "Where can I find this FAQ?", "Where can I find
additional sex topics on USENET?".
FUTURE CHANGES
- Section about instructional videos for couples.
- Extended section on sexual aids.
- Section about cock rings.
- Any suggestions?
=================================================================
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
Category 0. Where can I find...?
c0-1 Where can I find this FAQ?
c0-2 Where can I find additional sex topics on USENET?
Category 1. A wizard's materials.
c1-1 How does one make a simulacrum (artificial orifice)?
c1-2 What other masturbatory aids are there?
Category 2. General stuff
c2-1 Is it possible for men to be multi-orgasmic?
c2-2 What are Kegel exercises?
How can one increase the force of ejaculation?
c2-3 How does one give the Yoni massage?
c2-4 How does one give the Lingam massage?
c2-5 What is the Sex Magic Reality Creation Process?
c2-6 What is the Tantric Polarity Process?
c2-7 What are some good books on Tantra/sacred sexuality?
Appendix 1. List of contributors
Appendix 2. The Teachings of Kama Sutra
See the alt.sex FAQ for more general sex related topics. (See
c0-2 for more details.)
=================================================================
Category 0. Where can I find...?
c0-1. Where can I find this FAQ?
First of all, look for it in alt.sex.wizards and
news.answers
If you can't find it there, you can find the (hopefully)
latest version via ftp at:
rtfm.mit.edu
in /pub/usenet/alt-sex-wizards
By the way: many periodic or FAQ articles, including this
one, are available for anonymous ftp on the archive site
rtfm.mit.edu in the directory pub/usenet/news.answers. The
name under which a FAQ is archived appears is the one that
appears in the 'Archive-name' line at the top of the
article.
If you can't do or don't know about ftp: there's also a mail
server on that machine. Just send an e-mail message to
mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu containing the word "help" in the
body of the message.
---------------------------------------
c0-2. Where can I find additional sex topics on USENET?
If you're looking for additional topics on general
sexuality, look in the alt.sex FAQ (Archive-name:
alt-sex/faq/part*). The following topics are covered in that
FAQ:
Alt.sex Terms and Acronyms (also covers terms and
acronyms for this group)
What versions of the purity test are there?
Where can I get the purity tests?
Where can I find alt.sex stories? are there archive
sites for them?
Where can I find binary pictures and/or movies?
What are good books to read up on?
What stores sell sex-toys, etc.?
Where can I find the archives for alt.sex.bondage &
alt.sex.stories?
Where can I find the Index to USENET Erotica?
Where can I order from via catalog?
Where can I find sex-related mailing lists?
What should I do to make (the first attempt at) vaginal
sex easiest?
What should I do to make (the first attempt at) oral
sex easiest?
What should I do to make (the first attempt at) anal
sex easiest?
How does one give a hand job?
What is the Venus butterfly?
What is and where is the G-spot?
How can females ejaculate?
What about oral/vaginal sex during a woman's period?
What can one do about premature ejaculation?
What are some good positions to try out?
What are the contents of semen?
How much semen and how many sperm are in a single
ejaculate?
Does what I eat affect the taste of semen/vaginal
fluids?
What's the average length and width penis?
What's the average depth vagina?
What are blue balls?
Is spanish fly dangerous?
Is it possible to get pregnant from anal sex?
Should I buy a vibrator?
What kind of vibrators are there?
Do vibrators 'desensitize' women?
Can I be replaced by a vibrator?
What is circumcision and why is it done?
What percentage of men and women masturbate? and at
what frequency?
How are the bases defined again? (ie. 1st base =
kissing, etc.)
What is the M-spot?
How to shave your pubic region (female)
How is the AIDS virus transmitted? and what does a HIV
test show?
What is HPV (human papilloma virus)? treatment?
The major sexually transmitted disease (STDs) and their
symptoms (Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Genital Herpes, AIDS,
Pubic Lice (Crabs), Nonspecific Urethritis (NSU),
Hepatitis B are covered)
What are venereal warts? treatment?
What are the various methods of contraception? and
their effectiveness rates? and their associated risks
if any?
What kinds of condoms are there?
Myths
If you're looking for additional information on bondage/
dominance or sadism/masochism or many other such interesting
topics, look in the alt.sex.bondage FAQ.
If you're looking for additional information on masturbation
techniques, look in the alt.sex.masturbation FAQ.
By the way: many periodic or FAQ articles, including these
two, are available for anonymous ftp on the archive site
rtfm.mit.edu in the directory pub/usenet/news.answers. The
name under which a FAQ is archived appears is the one that
appears in the 'Archive-name' line at the top of the
article.
If you can't do or don't know about ftp: there's also a mail
server on that machine. Just send an e-mail message to
mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu containing the word "help" in the
body of the message.
=================================================================
Category 1. A wizard's materials:
c1-1. How does one make a simulacrum (artificial orifice)?
From: "The Contrivor"
Question - We all know women have vibrators and water
massagers, but is there any really good (orgasm
inducing) sex toy for men?
Answer - Yes, and you can make it yourself. There are
commercial alternatives as well, but they are not
very satisfactory. The device described below,
called "the simulacrum", can be used alone or with
a partner. It can also be held between the legs of
a partner, constituting a form of "safer sex".
Materials:
1. A piece of foam rubber, approximately 4" x 5" x 6-7".
Generally, the softer the foam the better. You may want to
try more than one grade of foam. High quality, soft foam can
be purchased at a good upholstery fabric store.
2. A latex, non-lubricated condom. The best brand for this
application is "Gold Circle Coin".
3. An O-ring larger than the diameter of the man's penis. The
average penis is about 1 1/2" in diameter, so the typical O-
ring might be a 1 3/4 inch inner diameter. A good hardware
store will have many sizes of O-rings.
4. A water-based personal lubricant. The best is probably
"Astroglide". Look in any drug store near the female
hygiene/contraceptive department.
5. A wooden clothespin.
Construction:
1. Cut a slit through the length of the foam, being very
careful not to cut yourself. I recommend wearing leather
gloves and using an electric turkey carving knife. It can be
done with a sharp knife, but is considerably more difficult.
Make the slit about 2" wide, going through the whole length
of the foam. You want plenty of foam all the way around the
slit, so try to centre it. See the diagram below.
__________________
/. /|
/ . / |
6-7" / . / |
/ . _____ / |
/ . . . / |
/ .___.___.___/_____|
/ / . . / /
------------------- /
| / . . | /
| / . . | /
4" | / ----- | /
| / 2" slit | /
|/ |/
-------------------
5"
Usage:
You may want a wet washcloth available.
1. Unroll the entire condom.
2. Bring the open end of the condom through the O-ring, then
stretch the open end of the condom over the O-ring, the way
that a plastic trash can liner goes on a trash can.
3. Lubricate the inside of the condom with a water-based
lubricant, working the lubricant around to insure that there
are no dry spots. DO NOT USE skin lotion, vaseline, baby
oil, vegetable oil, or any oil based lubricant. Use a water
soluble lubricant such as below:
- Astroglide personal lubricant
- Prepare personal lubricant
- HR jelly
- KY jelly
- Today personal lubricant
4. Push the closed end of the condom down into the slit in the
foam. You may find this easier with the wooden clothespin
already clamped onto the tip of the condom.
5. Reach through from the other end of the foam and pull the
closed end of the condom through. Fasten the clothespin on
this end; If the condom is stretched tight a smooth texture
will be achieved, if left looser a rougher texture will be
achieved.
6. Lubricate the penis with the water-based lubricant. If you
use an oil based lubricant, the condom will break.
7. Wipe your hands off on a wet wash cloth.
8. Insert the penis through the O-ring into the foam slit. You
may find this difficult if the inside of the condom is not
fully lubricated, or if the slit is too small. The width of
the slit will determine the fit. You may wish to vary this
width to find the perfect fit. Be careful -- too tight and
you may irritate your penis -- never a good thing!
9. The foam may be moved with hands, or wedged between pillows,
or against a bed. It is recommended that the user experiment
with various speeds, angles, pressures and so on. Slow
rotation is particularly recommended. It is possible to
rotate, flex, change the angle of movement etc., in order to
provide different effects. Also, the amount of lubricant
used and the tension on the condom before attaching the
clothespin will affect the texture and sensation achieved.
Also, a drop or two of honey may be added as a thickening
agent, to increase the amount of friction.
I'm interested in hearing feedback about the simulacrum. Please
post your feedback to alt.sex.wizards.
- The Contrivor
---------------------------------------
c1-2. What other masturbatory aids are there?
From: Snugglebunny (dave@cnd.mcgill.ca)
When it comes to sexuality of all kinds, including self-love,
creativity and imagination is your most important tool. Look
around your home--there are all kinds of things that can be used
for fun. Hand-held shower heads to massage with...fabrics with
different textures to run sensuously over bare skin...you get the
picture.
One alt.sex.wizards reader wrote:
Having read the informations about a simulacrum building, I was
reminded of my happy childhood :)
I consider this a bit more work than strictly necessary. I had
had nice experiences with (I do not know the proper expression)
inflatable "air wings", the things you put on children's arms and
inflate to prevent them from going under water. You can inflate
as much as you personally like, and need no handiwork, just
lubrication.
Play around with household items, and, if you have a personal
favourite sex toy, write to me (dave@cnd.mcgill.ca) to share the
idea with other alt.sex.wizards readers!
BTW - You might find something interesting in the
alt.sex.masturbation FAQ.
=================================================================
Category 2. General stuff
c2-1. Is it possible for men to be multi-orgasmic?
From: sawyer@hubble.westford.ccur.com (George Sawyer)
Keywords: NEMO, Taoist Yoga, Sexual techniques
Message-ID: <62486@masscomp.westford.ccur.com>
Date: 4 Nov 91 16:49:14 GMT
The following is a modified repost of my answer to "Postie's
query"
I study and teach Taoist esoteric yoga, and among the practices
are sexual techniques which are VERY EFFECTIVE. There are solo
techniques, and partner techniques. They require ongoing practice
and, for men, realistically speaking, the partner techniques
require a practising partner.
A basic concept is that you can have an orgasm without
ejaculating. Since ejaculation takes you through the refractory
period & etc. cycle as well as emptying your fluid level, it
tends to limit activity. Remove this constraint and you can go on
as long as you want. (Have as many orgasms as you want). When you
get close to the point of ejaculatory inevitability, you perform
the techniques, which pull the sexual energy out of your testes/
prostate up to your brain & compress the prostate causing partial
loss of erection & subsiding of prostate. When the energy moves
upward, you have an non-ejaculatory orgasm.
The only way I can describe the orgasm experience is to compare
it to some types of psychedelic drug experiences - except that
you are in control and can stop immediately if you want. The more
you practice, the longer and stronger the effects are. An orgasm
of 5 to 10 minutes is "quite easy" and you can become able to
have one of more than an hour with "determined practice". About
an hour twenty minutes is my personal best (from solo practice at
that) and I made it stop because I was getting too high.
You tend to rest for a few or several minutes after each orgasm,
being with your partner, and then optionally doing it again. Use
lots of lubricant.
There are different levels of orgasm, the initial one being a
"senses" orgasm, in which you experience amplified pleasure from
all your senses simultaneously. Since this includes touch, it is
a bodywide experience. An "unexpected" benefit for men is that
you will always have more energy after sex than before, thus
dramatically reducing the "roll off and snore" syndrome. Also,
after sex you will feel much closer to your partner and much more
connected than prior. Many people have intense experiences of
total connection and submersion into each other.
It is also a First Class system for being celibate. Completely
eliminates wet dreams, and gives you a fair amount of choice
about whether to allow yourself to become aroused or not. Over
the long term you develop some degree of control over your sexual
desire in general. Feels great (even the non-aroused solo
practice), and doesn't require "struggle and effort". The non-
aroused solo practices are being done by individuals in many
Christian monasteries & nunneries in Europe.
Downsides. NOT TO BE IGNORED
For men, it only really works if your partner practices too.
Otherwise they get BORED watching you have extended orgasms while
they wait.
Initially, it is QUITE DIFFICULT not to ejaculate, and you will
need cooperation from your partner at the WORST possible times -
"I need to stop NOW!".
It does not work well with promiscuity.
It takes time to learn - I'll say an average of 6 months to
beginning of competence and control, and requires 15min to 30min
per day of various meditative practices.
Realistically, most people don't stick to it long enough to be
able to do it. Success rate among persistent people is very high,
and the practices are not difficult.
Some women find it really weird if you don't ejaculate, and you
can really fuck up your relationship/marriage if you don't take
care of your significant other first and foremost. That is far
more important than mastery of sex techniques.
These techniques are not part of a religion, no Deities to
believe in, no statues, none of that.
The techniques are described quite clearly in:
"Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male sexual energy" (men's)
"Healing Love thru the Tao: Cultivating Female sexual energy"
(women's)
Both are written by Mantak and Manewan Chia, and widely available
at New Age bookstores.
The pre-requisite is: "Awakening Healing Energy Thru the Tao"
Most people find these reference books a bit much, and take one
day courses. There are about 70 instructors in the USA, you can
find the nearest one by calling the Healing Tao centre @ (516)
367-2701. Classes are about $85, and there is a pre-requisite
course "The Microcosmic Orbit" which is also about $85.
DO NOT IGNORE THE SAFETY POINTS IN THE BOOKS
Happy practice!
---------------------------------------
c2-2. What are Kegel exercises?
How can one increase the force of ejaculation?
From: sesharp@happy.colorado.edu
Message-ID: <1991Oct5.231811.1@happy.colorado.edu>
Date: 6 Oct 91 05:18:11 GMT
Kegel exercises (pronounced "Kay-gill", in case you ever actually
have a conversation about them) were invented to give women
better bladder control. They have a number of useful advantages
in sex. In women, they can help tighten the vagina, particularly
after childbirth. The muscles can also be used deliberately
during intercourse to stimulate her partner. They have a variety
of uses for men. As I already mentioned, they strengthen the
muscles used in seminal retention, making that technique more
effective. They can make ejaculation more powerful. This may
increase male enjoyment somewhat and female enjoyment if she is
sensitive to it. Deliberate twitches during intercourse are also
useful for males. Knowing how to force relaxation of the muscles
can help maintain control and prevent premature ejaculation, as
well as relieving the muscle cramps that can occur from too many
ejaculations in succession.
For females:
My recollection of the exercise regimen taken from the older ESO
book is as follows. First you have to identify the PC muscles and
get them under conscious control. Starting and stopping urination
is one method. Inserting a finger into the vagina to feel the
contractions or watching the movement of the erect penis is
another. Once it is under control, there are three kinds of
exercises. The first is to clench the muscle and hold it for two
seconds before releasing it. The second is to bear down as though
constipated, using the abdominal muscles to force the PC muscles
to relax. I find that alternating reps of these two works well.
The third exercise is a fast twitch of the muscle, with
repetitions as close together as possible, similar to orgasmic
contractions. An initial set of exercises consists of 10
repetitions of each exercise. Five sets should be performed in a
day. As strength improves, the number of repetitions in a set is
increased. Around 30 repetitions in a set is suggested as a good
number for retaining good muscle tone. The exercises are
unobtrusive and can be performed almost anywhere.
For males:
Kegel exercises might indeed help with [increasing the force of
ejaculation]. Here is how they are performed by males. First you
have to learn to consciously control the muscles. One way of
doing this is to use them to stop and start urination repeatedly.
When you have an erection, contracting them causes it to move,
making them easy to identify. Once you have the muscles
identified, there are three types of exercises to do:
1) try contracting the muscles and holding them that way for a
slow count of ten. You may not be able to last that long at
first, but that is why you are exercising.
2) force them to relax by bearing down as though you were
constipated and trying to force a bowel movement.
3) twitch (contract and release) the muscles as fast as you can
ten times in a row. I find that it works well to alternate
each of the first type with one of the second type. I don't
recall how many of these are recommended. Something like ten
of each to start, eventually working up to a hundred.
In addition to the possibility of increasing the force of
ejaculation, these may increase the number of contractions and
the total enjoyment. The same muscles can also be used to reduce
the amount of semen in an ejaculation by contracting them as hard
as possible during it. This leaves a less than satisfied feeling,
usually accompanied by an urgent desire for another orgasm 10 to
20 minutes later. This can be useful if your partner wants more
sex than you do. Supposedly, increasing the strength of the
muscles can increase this effect to allow quite a few orgasms in
a row.
---------------------------------------
c2-3. How does one give the Yoni massage?
From: jethro@netcom.com (Jeffery Tye)
Subject: The Yoni Massage
My wife and I have practised Tantra/Sacred Sex for several years
and have received much joy from the techniques and processes. One
of my wife's favourite and frequently requested sexual activity
is the Yoni Massage. It has greatly expanded our sex life,
brought us closer and has given me a greater appreciation of
women. We've taught the technique to many of our friends and they
too have enjoyed good results from it. I offer it here and hope
it enhances your sex life. Enjoy.
BACKGROUND INFO:
Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that
is loosely translated as "Sacred Space" or "Sacred Temple." Its
meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view
of the female genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words
which may or may not be complimentary depending on the intent of
their usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of
love and respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn.
The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the
woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal
and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the
giver) experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a
special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of
safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent
activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex
therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks
or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a
pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure
and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver
and giver can relax, and not have to worry about achieving
something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded,
more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or
not happen.
It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in
return. Just allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax
into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may
follow but it should be entirely the receiver's choice. This
perspective will build greater intimacy and trust, and will
greatly expand your sexual horizons.
PREPARATION:
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and
giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles,
pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel
safe. Allow yourself enough time and do not hurry through the
process.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results
will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and you will
avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to
go to the bathroom.
Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing
(looking into each other's eyes for an extended time), or
whatever brings you to a place of safety and relaxation.
PROCEDURE:
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so
she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver).
Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs
are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or
cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly
exposed for the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. The
giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position
allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing.
Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply,
slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver
will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the
receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not
hyperventilating, is very important here.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get
the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching
the Yoni.
Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the
mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the
outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent
sexual lubricants are available for this. Many lingerie shops,
sex toy shops, sex magazines, etc., offer these safe lubricants.
My favourite is Yoni Play from Looking Good Enterprises.)
CAVEAT - Do not mix oil-based products with latex.
Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni.
Spend some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the
massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index
finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do
the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your
time.
The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and
continue breathing deeply. It is helpful for giver and receiver
to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver
can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc., needs to
be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the
pleasurable sensations. (It is my experience that too much
talking gets one out of their feelings and diminishes the
effects.)
Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise
circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do
this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver
will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage
her to just relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your
right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right
hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in
Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/
vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up,
down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember,
this is a massage and you're nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.
With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni,
move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back
towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just
under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or
in Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books that
go into detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they
have to urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable. Again vary
the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to
side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You
can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and
pinky. Check with your partner first before sticking two fingers
into them. Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the
increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be
very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate
the clitoris as well.
An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky
of the right hand into her anus. Ask her first and do not insert
your pinky into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus.
Use lubrication and be very gentle.
(In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is in her anus, the
next finger and middle finger in her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb
on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the
universe in your hand.")
So, what is your left hand doing all this time? You can use it to
massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the
clitoris it's usually best to use your thumb in an up down
motion, with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the
mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide
much pleasure for the receiver. I do not recommend using your
left hand to touch your own genitals because it may take your
focus off the receiver. Remember, this massage is for her
pleasure and much of the benefit comes from not only the physical
stimulation but the intent as well.
Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and
motions. Keep breathing and looking into each other's eyes. She
may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep
breathing and be gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and
need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of
great value to her.
If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging
if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity.
In Tantra this is called "riding the wave." Many women can learn
how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient
partner.
Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently,
and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there
and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding
is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage
your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great
deal about feminine sexuality.
There is a similar massage for men called the Lingam Massage.
Lingam is a Sanskrit word for the penis that means, "Wand of
Light." (see section c2-4)
Namaste,
Jeffery
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c2-4. How does one give the Lingam massage?
From: jethro@netcom.com (Jeffery Tye)
Subject: The Lingam Massage
BACKGROUND INFO:
The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam (pronounced
LING-AHM, [LING rhymes with sing]) and is loosely translated as
"Wand of Light." Its meaning is different in intention from the
typical Western view of the penis (i.e., Cock, Prick, Dong, Dick,
etc., words that may come from a limited perspective, depending
on the intent of their usage). In Tantra/Sacred Sexuality, the
Lingam is respectfully viewed and honoured, a "Wand of Light"
that channels creative energy and pleasure.
The purpose of the Lingam Massage is to create a space the
receiver to relax, and receive expanded pleasure from his Lingam.
His partner (the giver) experiences the joy of facilitating and
witnessing the man surrendering to his softer, gentler side. The
Lingam Massage can be used as a form of safer sex (when latex
gloves are used) and is an excellent process to build trust and
intimacy. It is often used to help men heal from negative sexual
conditioning and trauma.
Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it is often
a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the
Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (the
equivalent to the female G-spot), and allow the man to surrender
to a form of pleasure he may not be used to. From this
perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage.
Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE. Traditional sexual
conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The
Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more
receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional
perspective.
PREPARATION:
Take a relaxing bath or shower. Take your time and breathe
deeply. Conscious, relaxed breathing will take you out of your
mental process and will get you more into your feelings. Relax
your belly and let go of the tension that most of us hold there.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results
occur when the bowels and bladder are empty.
Let go of your thoughts and connect with your partner through
hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for
an extended time), bringing both of you to a place of relaxation
and trust.
PROCEDURE:
Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so
he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered
with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart
with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees
will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc.,
to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe
deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.
Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil (or water-based
lubricant when using latex gloves) on the shaft of the Lingam and
testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to
not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum
gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam,
on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the
testicles and anus. Take your time. You are giving a massage to
an often neglected area of the body.
CAVEAT - Do not mix oil-based products with latex.
Massage the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure.
Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull
UP and slide off and then alternate with your left hand. Take
your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change
the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam/
penis and then sliding DOWN and off. Again, alternate with right
and left hands.
Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange
juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there
are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other
parts of the body. It is said many ailments can be cured by
receiving a good Lingam Massage.
NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this
technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again.
You will probably find that it will get hard, then go
soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable
Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and
down. Hardness and Softness are two ends of the
pleasure spectrum.
If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off,
allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the
massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and
then backing off. Remember, the goal is not orgasm in and of
itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control
by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the
stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge
to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to
make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic
without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two
different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is
a very expanded sex life.
Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There are two ways to do
this.
One is by finding the spot midway between the testicles and anus.
There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe
larger. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep
inside and it may be intensely painful at first. Eventually, as
this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand
his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his
Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your
left hand. Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation.
It is aptly named the Million Dollar Point in Taoism.
The other way to access the Sacred Spot is through the anus. Many
men, especially heterosexual men, are uncomfortable at first as a
result of negative sexual conditioning. Be careful here and use
lubrication. The key is to go slow and be very gentle. Make sure
he is breathing as you slip a finger from your left hand into the
anus about an inch or so. Then crook the finger back in a "come
here" gesture. You will feel the prostate gland. Vary the
pressure and speed of massage. He may want stimulation of the
Lingam as you massage the Sacred Spot. Back off on the Lingam as
he approaches orgasm and increase the pressure on the Sacred
Spot.
Sometimes the man may have strong emotions come up during access
to the Sacred Spot. He may cry and remember a traumatic event
from his past. You, the giver, are in a place of trust and
intimacy. Allow him to feel his emotions and be very loving, not
trying to console or fix him, just let him feel whatever he needs
to. Encourage him to scream, cry, moan, sob, if it feels
appropriate. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that
moment.
ENDING THE MASSAGE:
If he chooses to let go and ejaculate, encourage him to breathe
deeply during the orgasm. It will blow his mind, especially if he
has come close and held back at least SIX times before
ejaculating. Holding back six times charges up the sexual battery
with tremendous energy. It is then his choice as to where he
wants to send this energy -- out with their ejaculate (the
prevailing paradigm) or inward for other uses (men who master
ejaculation are able to channel this energy into other areas of
their being).
When he feels complete with the massage gently remove your hands
and allow him to lie there quietly. You may want to snuggle up
together or you can leave the room and let him drift off into a
meditative state. Allow him to fully experience his childlike
innocence and magnificent male beauty.
Have fun with this technique and share it with your friends and
loved ones.
Namaste,
Jeffery
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